Homeopathic Waterboarding (smile)

Homeopathic Waterboarding
05/28/09 - Throckmorton's Other Signs

The whole post is even funnier.

[edited] Waterboarding causes an intense feeling of distress and panic. Much like using a Nettie pot, I found out. With one of these, much hyped by Oprah, you twist your head back and pour water into your nose while it spouts out the other side, and down your throat and out your nose. This first caused much dread, panic, and a bit of suffocation.

When I first did this to treat my sinus infection, I would have given up my social security number and ATM pin to not have to do it again.

Now I pretty much waterboard myself whenever I have sinus problems.

An Artwork Thought to Have Merit

Thought to Have Merit
06/20/06 - WSJ OpinionJournal by Lionel Shriver

An English sculptor loses his head.

[edited] In this year's summer show at London's Royal Academy of Arts, "Exhibit 1201" is a large rectangular tablet of slate with a tiny barbell-shaped bit of boxwood on top. Its creator, David Hensel, must be pleased to have been selected from among some 9,000 applicants for the world's largest open-submission exhibit of contemporary art.

Nevertheless, he was bemused to discover that in transit his sculpture had gotten separated from its slate base. The Royal Academy had judged the two components as different submissions. They rejected his artwork proper, a finely wrought laughing head in jesmonite. Instead, they honored the slate base and boxwood support. "It says something about the state of visual arts today," said Mr. Hensel. He didn't say what. He didn't need to.

The Royal Academy denies having made an error. The slate tablet and hastily carved wooden support were, according to an official statement, "thought to have merit."

The short piece of wood for supporting the sculpture was quite nice, in its own way. See pictures of the support and the laughing head.

Obama Thanks Himself Reading Teleprompter

The truth about Barack Obama's Irish teleprompter "gaffe"
03/24/09 - Telegraph.co.UK by Toby Harnden

Well, it seemed a bit fishy to me and there was no video. And upon further investigation - Obamaphobes and dittoheads brace yourselves for a big disappointment - I can confirm that there was no gaffe by the president.

Harnden reports that Obama's remarks were a joke, following up on Brian Cowen's minor mistake in reading a few words of Obama's speech from the teleprompter. There is really nothing here but a simple mistake and good humor all around.

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The following was my take on what was reported.

Obama Reads Teleprompter and Thanks Himself
03/18/09 - Fox News via AP

There is now strong evidence that some politicians are "replacements". They have been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with lifelike but imperfect substitutes. (smile)

[edited] Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen gave a speech at a St. Patrick's Day celebration at the White House. It was the second time that evening he would give the same speech to two different groups.

Cowen was 20 seconds into his second presentation when it dawned on him that he was reading word for word the speech that Obama had just read from the same teleprompter.

Cowen stopped and looked back at the president to say "That's your speech."

Obama laughed and returned to the podium to offer some remarks. It seems that he then read some of Cowen's remarks from the Teleprompter. In doing so, President Obama thanked President Obama for inviting everyone over.

So, politics isn't so hard. Just read from the little screen. Probably this is why politicians have been chosen as the first to be replaced. Few of the public will notice.

Thankfully, the replacements do not think ahead. "Obama" knew that the Teleprompter had just shown the wrong speech. You would think that he would be wary of what was displayed. But, he automatically read what was there.

Fellow humans, the replacements have weaknesses, and we have some hope in our fight to regain the world.

Elevator Lawsuit Safety

Elevator Logic
02/18/09 - Throckmorton's Other Signs by Throckmorton

I suppose the legal theory of "attractive nuisance" is used here. Escape doors are so attractive and dangerous that people must be protected against themselves. There could be a sign "Warning: Only professionals should attempt to escape from this elevator." I have wondered, if I am supposed to escape, where is the ladder?

[edited] The hospital has fancy ceilings in their elevators, and I wondered what I would do if I got stuck. The maintenance man explained that the escape door was behind the lighted panel in the ceiling. It was almost impossible to get to, and the escape doors are locked from the outside. Someone has to let you out.

There have been lawsuits when people stuck in elevators have hurt themselves climbing out or when the elevator starts moving. So, the escape hatches are locked from the outside. If you are trapped in the elevator in a fire? He said, "Hope someone can get you out before you burn!"

It is even code to have the escape hatches locked! I wonder if the glass in the fire alarm box that states "break glass in case of fire" is unbreakable to prevent lawsuits because of people cutting themselves!

I Pledge to Obama

I Pledge
01/20/09 - IowaHawk.Typepad.com
An interpreted transcript of the "Pledge of llegiance to Obama" video. It is laugh out loud at your terminal funny.

[excerpt] I pledge:

Nicole Richie: To give up food altogether.

Possibly that red-haired chick from Spiderman: To be a great mother.

Some d-bag from that emo band, "Fallout Charlotte" or something, that my daughter was into when she was 11: To be a great father.

Demi Moore: To hire only the best nannies... because all of our children deserve a good nanny.

Lucy Liu: To continue working to support raising awareness as a voice for UNICEF and their international nanny awareness programs.

The Brains of TSA

12/21/08 - Econlog.Econlib.org by David Henderson   --> Article

[edited] I had volunteered to serve hamburgers, hot dogs, and veggie burgers at a barbecue held at my daughter's high school. At one point, about 12 people were in line waiting for food. I had about four each of hot dogs and veggie burgers. Another server made a panicked request to cook many more burgers.

But, what if some people in line wanted hot dogs or veggie burgers? I announced loudly "Anyone who's in line for hot dogs or veggie burgers please come up here." Six people came up, cutting the apparent hamburger line in half.

The server who had made the panicked request was a high-level manager at a logistics firm. He didn't see any easy way around the problem.

When Charley and I tell a story of poor thinking, we almost never name the person, but here I'll make an exception. This high-level manager was Kip Hawley, now head of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) [The people who run security at our airports.]

The noted security expert Bruce Schneier has collected some links to his interesting posts about TSA and airline security.

One Eye Fixed and Dilated

12/02/08 - WhiteCoatRants --> Boogly-Boogly

A man is wheeled into an emergency room with one eye fixed and dilated. This is a life-threatening observation, with a Halloween ending. Funny.

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05/26/11 - The link is bad because the target blog is now private.

The story is that the man had injured himself while drunk. The ER resident immediately noticed that one of his eyes had a fixed and dilated pupil, which is a sign of severe brain injury. He questioned the man about his eye and what had happened.

The man sat up suddenly and popped his glass eye into his hand to show the resident.

Brussels, The Cucumber, and Deregulation

Brussels and the Cucumber
11/22/08 - WSJ.com Opinion

EU regulators will do a bit less regulation. Ever wonder what all of those people are doing in your own government?

[edited] European Union Commissioner for agriculture and rural development, Mariann Fischer Boel says "It's a new dawn" in Brussels. Next July, the EU will lift rules dictating the size and shape of 26 fruits and vegetables. Hello, curvy cucumber.

For decades, the EU has issued rules in the name of "consumer protection", such as how to use mayonnaise, the definition of an egg, the diameter of a peach, and protecting European shoppers from the sight of a misshapen carrot. This requires an army of bureaucrats and a few editorial writers.

These rules cost billions in higher grocery prices and the taxes that support Europe's notorious Common Agricultural Policy. Ms. Fischer Boel says the new regulations will cut administrative costs and reduce food prices. "We simply don't need to regulate this sort of thing at the EU level. It is far better to leave it to market operators." What a thought.

The "bonkers Brussels bureaucrats" are still with us. 16 of the EU's 27 member states oppose the changes, and the EU will continue to set standards for apples, tomatoes, and 8 other fruits and vegetables making up 75% of the value of EU trade.

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Protected From UglyRipe Tomatoes
02/02/11 - 02/24/05 - Mises.org by Gary Galles  [edited]

Why are winter tomatoes pretty but tasteless? The government is protecting us from having to think too much about them, and about other fruits and vegetables.

UglyRipe tomatoes come from 10 years of work by Joe Procacci. Customers say they have the luscious taste they remember from the good old days. Few UglyRipe meet the FTC’s standard of beauty for selling out of state because they fail roundness standards.

This is the latest in a long line of rip-offs in the name of consumer protection and enforced by government marketing boards. Marketing boards trace from New Deal legislation to “save” agriculture.

Florida growers of pretty but bland tomatoes dominate America’s winter supply, and they protect their profits at consumer expense. Marketing boards block the sale of “lower quality” tomatoes to restrict competition from newer varieties that consumers might prefer.

The Sperm-Supply Problem

11/17/08 - Freakonimics by Daniel Hamermesh   --> Source
Supply and demand is upset by possible liability.

There’s a shortage of sperm in Britain! Apparently, Britain needs donations for about 4,000 women per year; to reach that number, about 500 sperm donors per year are required, while only 300 are currently registered.

Things were fine until 2005, when a law was enacted allowing children of sperm donors the right at age 18 to discover the identity of their father; simultaneously, the number of women who could use the same donor’s sperm was limited further.