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Jul 8, 2008

Seduction and Politics

Is A First Date Too Soon For Love?

A woman waits at a table in a small Italian restaurant. A man arrives, gives her a questioning look, and approaches.

Jim: Hello, are you Pam?
Pam: Hi, you must be Jim.
Jim: [sits down] It is so nice to see you Pam. Sorry I'm a bit late.

Pam: It's been 30 minutes. What happened?
Jim: Various things. The details are not important. I'm just glad to be here now.

Pam: Well, OK. I see that you are a man of mystery.
Jim: [eyes flashing] I believe in living fully in the present, the past is gone.

Pam: You know, I do know something about your past. My friend Alice told me that you have dated a lot of women.
Jim: Pam, I don't know why she would say that. I have dated some, but I wouldn't say "a lot". Not much more than average. Anyway, the details are not important. I'm happy to be here with you now.

Pam: You are certainly handsome, and I like your direct and confident manner.
Jim: I'm not like other men. I have big plans for the future.

Pam: Oh, what are those?
Jim: I want a stable relationship, a loving wife, children, and I enjoy working hard to make my beloved happy. I would never argue. There really is no need for disagreement. I want a happy family and to bring us all together.

Pam: I like that as an ideal, but how can people avoid all disagreement?
Jim: I only want good things, so there is nothing to disagree with. The people who disagree with me are dumb. I see that you are smart. Don't worry. It will all work out after you are committed to me. You will see.

Pam: You are going a little fast here for a first date. I don't know much about you. I think we should date for a while before we talk about a glorious future. I would like to see who you really are.
Jim: I say these things because I really mean them. My words are sincere, and they are based on my plans and dreams. I really am who I seem to be. Don't insult me by asking who I "really am". I'm telling you all about me, and you are going to love me.

Pam: Alice told me more about you. Don't you remember her? She dated you a year ago, and was excited about your plans together for marriage and children. But, you left her for a prettier girl with social connections.
Jim: Of course I remember Alice. I hope she is well. I think she misinterpreted what I said. I haven't changed my position, but I needed to recognize some changing facts. I always intended to marry her and have a stable relationship, a loving wife, children, and to enjoy working hard to make her happy. Things just didn't work out. The details are not important, and they are in the past. I'm happy to be here with you now.

Pam: Yes, we are here now, and you are really cute and say such nice things. I want to believe you and know what our future might be together.
Jim: This is only our first of many times together, but I love thinking about the future. A future of a stable relationship, a loving wife, children, and working hard to make her, uh, you happy.

Pam: What will life be like for us?
Jim: I don't believe in disconnected lives. We will combine our dreams, efforts, and savings. Yours will be mine and mine will be yours. You will work hard with me to build a wonderful future. I will use our resources to show people how great we are, and they will look up to us as shining examples. I also think a powerboat and a basement bar would be fun. We'll have the best parties in the neighborhood.

Pam: That sounds like work. I'm not really a party girl.
Jim: You are going to love it. Believe me.

Pam: What is that paper?
Jim: It is an engagement letter. We can't be really engaged, it is too soon. First date and all. I don't want to rush things, but I need your support in writing.

It only says that if we spend time together, and if you marry me in November, our bank accounts will merge in happiness, and we won't disagree with each other about our plans after that. As an honest person, I think you will sign this. There is no obligation. I just need to know that I can effectively carry out our plans for real emotional change if we are married in November. This is only fair if we have an exclusive relationship. There are a few other things that aren't really important.

Pam: What is your profession?
Jim: I'm a politician. I'm on the way to a greatness that was always my destiny. Come along with me, my darling.


Anonymous said...

Excellent work. Thanks for linking your blog on JOM - I've enjoyed poking around!

Anonymous said...

First date skit very funny! I saw your ten best list on Kimball's blog.

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