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Aug 2, 2011

Free Ice Cream Cones

Fred:  You have a nice coffee maker there.
Mike:  It's great. It was expensive, but they gave me a coupon for $40 off which I couldn't pass up.

Fred:  But, you are not smiling.
Mike:  Funny thing. I saw one later, just like it. No coupon, but the base price was even less than I paid in total.

Fred:  Coupons are funny that way.

A political gathering in the US.

Politician on outdoor stage:  May I first say that all of you are the most intelligent, beautiful, clear thinking, generous, patriotic, and deserving people that I have met, along with all of the other great people of your town, city, and state.

Voice in the Crowd:  Yeah, whatever.

Politician:  Unlike my opponent, I want to strengthen government in all of the right ways to help you in this life of woe.

Voice:  What about the debt?

Politician:  "Debt"  is only a bad word for borrowing money. It is money that someone has little use for, which we will invest in our great country for your benefit.

Voice:  What benefit?

Politician:  Ice cream cones.

Voice:  Are you nuts?

Politician:  Which of you wonderful people would like a free ice cream cone?

Voice:  [drowned out]

Crowd:  [clapping]  Me, Us, We do, Yeah, Great.

Politician:  I will arrange for free ice cream cones, as many as you want, and other free stuff. Would you like that?

Voice:  [drowned out]

Crowd:  [loud cheers]  Yay, Yes, You said it, Gimme, I can't wait.

Voice:  [as cheering dies down]  There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Crowd:  [some booing]

Politician:  My friends, the heckler is correct. But we are not talking about lunch. We are talking about free ice cream cones.

Crowd:  [louder cheering]

Voice:  [as cheering dies down]  They will make us all pay more.

Politician:  No, we will make the rich pay. They have lots of money. In these times, when we have fewer ice cream cones than we want, it is only fair that rich people and corporations put in their fair share, much more than they are putting in now.

Voice:  [stands on park bench]  Wait! You all will pay more.

Taxes on companies will appear as higher prices. Taxes on investments will slow company growth. You and your children will have fewer and lower paying jobs.

The politicians always take a big cut. Your retirement funds will not grow as fast, as everyone invests less. The same corrupt politicians who promise to tax the rich will make deals with the rich and pass the costs onto you.

This has always been the result of promising free stuff and promising to tax the rich.  [he shouts louder]  You are being asked to vote away your own prosperity!

Crowd:  [some boos, and a stunned silence as people try to think]

Politician:  My fellow citizens. I will get you free ice cream cones. We will all work together and contribute our fair shares. Keep your faith and vote for a better future.

Voice:  [the man is pulled down from the bench]  Stop that. Let go.

Crowd:  [loud cheers toward the stage]  Yes. You're the man. We're for you. We deserve the ice cream cones.

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