(06/11/08)
Welcome to The Political Manual. Just the fact that you are reading this is evidence that you have risen in politics and have gained the trust of a Certified Black Ops Political Advisor (S) (Secret Registered Trademark).
You have already experienced a lot in politics and you are no longer squeamish. You have put under personal control what little idealism may remain in your character. It may help to remember what happened to the idealists along the way. You are still in the game, and you can't play at all if you are eliminated.
The material in The Political Manual will be familiar to you. You will see here in organized form what you may have already learned in an incomplete way. You will find that the Manual gives a welcome and calming order to your usual scattered thoughts. Thoroughly knowing the contents will make it much easier for your CBOPA to guide you to the greatness that was always your destiny.
Don't worry about the length of the Manual. It has been written in an easy style especially for the best politicians, and you will have plenty of time to read it thoroughly, if you follow its advice exactly.
Carry the Manual with you at all times. You will sometimes notice the slight pocket bulges that other politicians reveal, particularly the ones you most fear and respect. We recommend custom tailoring to completely hide the Manual. The plastic-coated pages are durable and water-proof.
In the unlikely event that you might lose personal control over the Manual, it is quickly and easily destroyed by spilling wine or other alcohol onto it. Then, keep back, as the chemical reaction can be startling. You can always get another copy from your CBOPA, at nominal cost.
We are confident that your dedicated study will be rewarded.
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